I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
