This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
