even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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