drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
