Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
