Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
