Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
