If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
wat bout pragnant strippers??
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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