sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
