His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize