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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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