haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
