I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
