I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
