he wants to bone in the snuggie
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
