is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
