doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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