she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
