I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
