Welp...herpes.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
