Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
