You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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