Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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