Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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