one might say we're banned from that church
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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