I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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