Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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