...so i touched it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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