I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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