Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
