Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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