yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
