i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
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Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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