just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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