ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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