Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
