this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
