im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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