butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
