they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
