It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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