she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
