he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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