i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
