Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
