xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Randomize
