i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
