Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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