She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
