I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize