She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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