i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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