In the future we'll all be gay
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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