Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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