i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Panties = found
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize