I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
