I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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