her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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