Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
