She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
