But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Randomize
