Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
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Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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