remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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