Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
