me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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