Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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