i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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