"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
