i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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