Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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